Sten Vesterli's Blog

Making IT Live up to its Promise

Category: Spiritual Programmer

Could, not Should

Spiritual Programmer,

There is nothing you should do. There are any number of things you could do.

Our language affects our mental state, and there are some insidious words you must be on the lookout for. One of them is “should.” Whenever you use that word, it indicates that you are allowing an ill-defined social norm to push something onto your plate. It stays there, taking up valuable mental space, but you never get around to it. Because it is not really your goal.

That is why “I should lose weight” invariably fails. If you made New Year’s resolutions, how are you doing with them? If you accidentally formulated any of them as “should” goals, you’ll find you haven’t made much progress.

The alternative word is “could.” I could go running each week. It is totally possible. I might decide that other things in my life are more important, and not go running. But “could” empowers you. You could start writing a book today. You could decide to only eat one donut today. But there is nothing you “should.”

Hike Your Own Hike

Spiritual Programmer,

You can learn a lot from long-distance hiking. One of the life lessons I took from my 1,800 km on the Pacific Crest Trail is HYOH – Hike Your Own Hike.

We’re always comparing ourselves to others. Today, presented with an endless stream of carefully curated social media feeds, it can more than ever seem like everybody else is living a better life.

That’s why it is important to live your life the way you want. On the trail, some travel ultralight, using their trekking poles to stretch a small tarp over their lightweight sleeping bag atop a thin foam sleeping pad. I travel with a real tent, a good air pad, and a warm sleeping bag. They move faster than I do, but I am more comfortable. Long-distance hikers all accept the HYOH mindset – the ultralighters are not judging me for my heavy pack, and I am not envious of their higher mileage.

Live your own life.

Meet People in Real Life

Spiritual Programmer, ,

Your happiness, health, and longevity are strongly influenced by the strength of your relationships. You need to meet people in real life – online connections have only a small fraction of the effect of meeting someone face to face.

If you live alone, it is even more important to take your social connections seriously. Over time, unless you continually work to renew your relationships, they will weaken. If you don’t have any close relationships, cultivate some. Join a sports club or volunteer in an organization. Doing something physical together with someone is an easy first step to building a relationship.

Did you meet with friends or family this week? If not, make plans to meet someone this weekend.

The Power of the Mind

Spiritual Programmer, , ,

You can think yourself healthier. Scientists have just published another placebo effect study, this time showing increased vaccine effectiveness. The people who did positive thinking exercises showed increased antibody production after 14 and 28 days.

The inverse is that you can probably also think yourself sicker, though for ethical reasons this has not been studied.

Make sure you have a technique for getting yourself in a better mood. For some, it can be uplifting music. For others, it might be a walk in nature. Spend a few moments identifying something that energizes you. And then do it today.

The Power of a Word

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What is today’s word? I learned from my wife to assign one word to every day. I do it in the morning as I sit with my coffee, look at my garden, and contemplate how to spend this day.

If you just look at your task list, it will contain dozens of things you could do with your day. Letting your mind wander and settle on one word will tell you what is really important today. On some days, it will be something productivity-focused like “programming” or “debugging.” On other days, it might be development-oriented like “learn” or “clarity.” If your mind comes up with “rest,” that is a strong indication that you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.

Try it out. Set one word for the day tomorrow morning, and reflect on your day tomorrow evening. If having a focus word helps you, make it a habit.

Make Your Task a Habit

Spiritual Programmer, ,

If you have a large task to complete and it doesn’t easily break into components, make it a daily habit.

My digital photo catalog contains 68,255 images right now. Some are tagged and evaluated, many are not. I have created a habit of working a little on cleaning up my photo collection every day. That means I feel I’m progressing towards my goal of having everything organized, even though there is still a long way to go.

For me, it works to have a habit-tracking app that reminds me not to “break the chain” every evening if I haven’t gotten around to a little photo sorting during the day. But you can also establish a habit by piggybacking it onto something you already do.

The difference between feeling in control and feeling overwhelmed by large tasks is whether you are moving towards your goal or are standing still. Move.

Simple Health

Spiritual Programmer, , ,

To improve your health, do the simplest thing that could possibly work. Don’t start an intricate supplement regimen or try to follow a complex set of dietary guidelines. The traveling snake oil salesman has moved online and is now a health influencer, but that doesn’t remove the quackery.

Decide on one parameter you want to track (weight, sleep, whatever) and make one simple change to your life. For weight loss, it could be preparing more meals from scratch. For sleep, it could be putting down your phone one hour before bedtime. Track your adherence to your chosen change and the tracked parameter for two weeks.

If you got results, good.

If you didn’t, either your adherence wasn’t strong because you couldn’t implement the change consistently, or the change didn’t affect the tracked parameter. Never mind. Choose another change and try again.

You Can Do One Minute

Spiritual Programmer, ,

There are two possible outcomes of this day: One is that you did no work towards your goals. And the other one is that you did.

You want every day in 2026 (and the rest of your life) to fall into the second category. The way to achieve that is to lower the bar. Yes, lower it. Decide that even one minute working towards your goals counts.

But one minute doesn’t make a difference, does it? Well, on its own, it’s still 6 hours more than nothing over a year. But the interesting thing is that once you get started on the one minute, it leads to another, and another. The hard thing about hard things is to get started. One minute counts.

Looking Backward

Spiritual Programmer,

We keep looking forward, but we should also look backward. A new year means new resolutions and new plans. But very few of such plans come to pass. As you approach the New Year, look back at 2025 and note what happened and what didn’t. Reflect on why the things you had planned didn’t happen. It might show you how you sabotage your own progress. If this happened in 2025, identify a mitigation strategy you can implement in 2026. It is much better to improve your goal-achievement habits than to just set another goal.

Journaling

Spiritual Programmer, ,

I hope there is something you want to change in your life. If there isn’t, there are two possibilities.

Either you are completely healthy, happy, and successful (unlikely)

Or you haven’t thought about what you want to change (much more likely)

If you want to change, you need to define a goal and track your progress. The goal-setting is the easy part – in two weeks, many people will easily produce a list of New Year’s resolutions. The problem is that most of these will be the same as last year’s.

It’s the progress tracking that makes the difference. You can use habit tracking apps and all sorts of brain hacks, but the simplest and most effective is to keep a journal. Every morning, write down what you intend to do today to move closer to your goal. Every evening, write down how it went. For inspiration, read up on Benjamin Franklin’s journaling. You have a note-taking app or a piece of paper. You can start today.