Could, not Should

There is nothing you should do. There are any number of things you could do.

Our language affects our mental state, and there are some insidious words you must be on the lookout for. One of them is “should.” Whenever you use that word, it indicates that you are allowing an ill-defined social norm to push something onto your plate. It stays there, taking up valuable mental space, but you never get around to it. Because it is not really your goal.

That is why “I should lose weight” invariably fails. If you made New Year’s resolutions, how are you doing with them? If you accidentally formulated any of them as “should” goals, you’ll find you haven’t made much progress.

The alternative word is “could.” I could go running each week. It is totally possible. I might decide that other things in my life are more important, and not go running. But “could” empowers you. You could start writing a book today. You could decide to only eat one donut today. But there is nothing you “should.”